God Has Plans Part 1: Love: Practical Thinking or Overthinking.

This is the story of an engineering student wrestling with himself to understand the realities of the world. He rethinks everything, constantly trying to discern what is practical and merely a fantasy.

Coming from a lower-middle-class family run by his single mother, he experienced many ups and downs in life. He loved his mother dearly and wanted to support her by securing a good job as soon as possible. Despite being intelligent and good-looking (even cute, with many girls interested in him), he felt burdened by responsibilities and sometimes thought he was cursed by his knowledge.

In his third year of engineering, five months into the academic year, his eyes fell on a girl who stood out in the crowd. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He wondered, "Is she wearing bangles? Has she applied bindiya on her forehead? Am I really in Bangalore?" From that day, he noticed that she regularly came to college in traditional dress. She was a modern girl rooted in tradition.

He started liking her, and his feelings for her grew. In India, one-sided love is common, and he was no exception. By his fourth year, he had been observing her for a year, thinking about her but also fighting with himself to stop these feelings, which kept him from approaching her.

One day, during a college event, the girl noticed him looking at her repeatedly. He became nervous, worrying she might think he was a creep. From then on, he avoided her, but whenever they passed each other, it seemed she looked at him with bright eyes and smiled at him. He thought about talking to her, but his nervousness led to mutism in her presence. He had her social media account IDs and could have easily gotten her number but didn't want to seem creepy. Whenever he got the chance to talk to her, he couldn't bring himself to do it, yet their eye contact never ceased, nor did his internal struggle.

On the last day of college before exams, he was standing in the corridor on the fourth floor. She suddenly appeared at the other end. Their eyes met for 10 seconds, and she looked sad as if her eyes were asking, "Why isn't he talking to me? Is he just playing?" She looked down, took the lift, and left. He thought, "This is the last chance to talk to her; go after her." He followed her to the lift but stopped, thinking again.

That night, he had her number and could have called her but worried about the exams. He thought, "What if something goes wrong and my exams don't go well?" and deleted her number.

1. For a year, he didn't try to talk to her, thinking it wasn't practical because of their different cultures.
2. When she noticed him, he worried she would think he was creepy.
3. His overthinking made him nervous and unable to talk to her.
4. Before exams, he went home and saw his family's problems, which made him think more about family, and that stopped him at the lift.
5. He had her number but deleted it, thinking of the exams.
6. Though he deleted her number from his phone, he couldn't erase her from his mind. He cried, thinking she deserved better. He had many responsibilities and didn't want her to suffer along with him. He wanted her to lead a better life.
   That night, he texted her on social media, confessing his two years of one-sided love and saying she deserved a better life. There was no reply from her.

Is it practical thinking or overthinking? I don't know...

Exams were completed, he graduated, got a good job, and his family is now in a better position, but he still lives with her memories.